How to find the best family law attorney: A few of the most common Q’s and How To’s
Maybe you’re recently separated and you expect your soon-to-be-ex will make divorce proceedings difficult. Or maybe you believe your ex is underpaying child support. Or maybe you’re getting married and you need a rock solid prenup. A family law attorney can help you with the legal end of these and many other family transitions. But regardless of how urgent your needs may or may not be, you don’t want to choose the first name that turns up when you search ‘family law attorney.’ Ideally, you’ll take a more intentional approach to finding the best family law attorney for you and your family because who you hire matters.
Why? Amy Laughlin, Founder and Managing Partner of Laughlin Legal Divorce and Family Law Group in the Bay Area, has a powerful answer to that question. “It matters because if you hired 3 different attorneys to handle the same case, you’d get 3 different outcomes. Sometimes very different outcomes. There are consequences, occasionally substantial consequences, as a result of your choice of attorney.”
Here are Ms. Laughlin’s answers to other very common questions on the subject of selecting and hiring an attorney.
How to find a good family law attorney.
AMY LAUGHLIN “I always advise friends and clients that the answer to that question might be easier than they expect if they ask around and look for a meaningful referral first. You might not be ready to announce your plans to separate just yet, and I get that, but a personal recommendation is the best place to start. Have a confidential conversation with someone who has recently gone through a divorce or adoption or something similar to your situation. It could be a neighbor or someone at your children’s school. Ask them to honor your privacy and share the name of a divorce or family law attorney they trust. They may even share the name of opposing counsel! To me, a referral from the other side is quite a compliment.
If you work for a large company, ask someone in HR if they have an attorney referral list to help narrow your options. Whether they do or not, definitely plan to spend time doing your research. Visit attorneys’ websites to get a feel for who they are and what their values are. Do they feel like a good fit? How long have they been practicing? That’s important because there’s no substitute for experience. Is their website professional and respectful? Where did they go to law school? What do their clients have to say about them? Read their google reviews and visit their LInkedIn page.
Next, identify a few attorneys you’d like to interview to see who you resonate with.
How to get a family lawyer who’s right for you.
AMY LAUGHLIN Trust yourself and prepare for your interviews by coming up with a list of questions. Many of our clients don’t know much more about family law than the average person. But they find their way to us because they trust themselves. Look for someone you feel comfortable with. Some clients want to work with a man, some are more comfortable working with a woman. Either way, it’s important that you choose someone you can open up to because in family law, you’re often telling your lawyer things that nobody else knows. Take note of: are they listening to me? Do they appear interested and respectful? Do they appear to be too busy? Subtle turnoffs you pick up early on can turn into big problems down the road. Ultimately, it’s not about what anybody else says. Listen to your heart and trust yourself.
How to hire a lawyer for your divorce.
AMY LAUGHLIN Actually hiring a divorce lawyer is pretty easy once you’ve done your research and made a choice. Ask your divorce lawyer to send you an engagement letter. Though they’re pretty standard, review it carefully. It will ask you to send over a retainer which is also standard. The amount of that retainer, what the billable hourly rate is and whether the unused portion of your retainer is refundable should be among the questions you ask when you interview attorneys.
That’s how you get things started with your divorce attorney. If you want to be one step ahead of the process, get your financials in order.
- Personal tax returns from the last 5 years
- Business tax returns, if you own one, from the last 5 years
- Your most recent W2
- Make sure you have access to all your investment accounts. Your attorney will ask you to provide the most current statement for all checking and saving accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, etc. Don’t print them out just yet; they may not be needed for a while.
Is finding a lawyer you can trust difficult? How will I know?
AMY LAUGHLIN I think it’s easy. There are a lot of great people out there who went to law school because they want to help people just like you. It’s easy to become suspicious because, for some reason, the negative stories – about crooked or disbarred lawyers – get a bigger headline than the positive ones. In any profession you’re going to find people who are dishonorable, but In all my years of practice, I’ve met very few.
When should someone consult an attorney for a family law matter?
AMY LAUGHLIN If you’re contemplating divorce but haven’t quite decided what to do, it might be helpful to talk with someone just to find out whether this is going to be right for you at this time or ever. And know that it’s all confidential even though that person isn’t your attorney yet; the very fact that you met with them is confidential.
Here are a handful of other family law issues and when you should seek legal help with them.
- If your custody schedule is no longer working. You can almost always revisit it.
- If domestic violence toward you or your children is occurring in your home.
- If you don’t have a living will / power of attorney / revocable trust in place or you haven’t looked at it or updated it in 3 to 5 years and your circumstances have changed.
- If you have an aging parent who you’re worried is not going to be able to handle their affairs and you might need to take them over.
- If you have a child who’s turning 18, going off to college, is no longer a minor and you want to be able to make medical decisions for that person.
- If you lose your job and you’re the payer of spousal support and need to modify your agreement.
- If you believe that your spouse just got a big raise and your spousal support payment should be changed.
- If you’re engaged to be married and want to investigate getting a prenup.
Can I ask an attorney what their average divorce costs?
AMY LAUGHLIN You can ask, but the answer is: there is no such thing as an average divorce. Divorces range in cost from $3,000 on the very low end to well over $1M. Where your divorce will fall within that range is difficult if not impossible to predict.
Should I ask an attorney how often they win or lose cases?
AMY LAUGHLIN It’s very difficult to assess what is a win and what is a loss in much of family law. There are certain aspects of a family law case that you can win or lose. For example, with a restraining order – either it’s granted or denied. The same is true when someone files a request to ‘move away’ or relocate child custody, it will either be granted or denied. Win or lose. I once had a potential client ask me how many move away cases I have litigated and what was my success rate. And that’s a fair question but move aways are very fact-determinative, too. I’ve won all 4 of my move away cases because I did the work and uncovered the facts that helped my client win. But most family law cases aren’t as clear. In terms of division of assets, for instance, in California, nobody really wins or loses, you split.
How to find a family law attorney who’s highly respected.
AMY LAUGHLIN Ok, full disclosure, some of the most respected attorneys are also the biggest pains in the ass. They’re like a dog on a bone. In my opinion, the best attorneys don’t pick a fight just to pick a fight. They’re more than just a fierce advocate in the courtroom, they’re mature enough to be steady in their response. They know when their client is asking for reassurance rather than strategy, and to be steady when their client is unraveling across the desk from them. Steady is a good adjective for the best attorneys. Those are the attorneys who are feared and revered. That’s what you want – someone who’s tough and has more than one tool in their toolbox. Experience counts including the experience of failing, reflecting, and making a change. Maturity matters here, maturity as an attorney of course, but also maturity as a human being in the way they treat you and others. That’s why who you hire matters.
Should I prepare questions for a family law attorney consultation? Can you share a few interview questions for a family law attorney?
AMY LAUGHLIN Yes and yes. You should definitely prepare questions and I’d be happy to share a number of questions to ask a family lawyer during a consultation. How about one of the most obvious yet least asked questions: Do you have time for my case? And follow that up with: On average, how long will it take for you to get back to me on a given day?
Here are two more seldom-asked questions to ask a family lawyer: What is your strategy when you go into a case? Most attorneys don’t have one. Or how about: How do you decide next steps?
And two final questions to ask a family law attorney: What are the first things you’ll do after you get my case? What’s the plan? What they should say is this… You and I are going to have a nice long talk. I want to hear a lot about your spouse or the other opposing party, because this is like a chess match. I can’t devise a strategy without knowing who the opponents are. And I want to find out what you think would be a really good outcome in your case, and I’ll want to talk about how we could go about getting that. And then I’ll pick up the phone, call opposing counsel, introduce myself, and say: let’s work collaboratively for this family. Here’s what my client is looking for; what do you think your client might be looking for? That way, we’ll know right upfront where we do or don’t have a meeting of the minds. That step alone has saved many clients from a needlessly drawn out and contentious divorce process.
Do most firms charge for a consultation with an attorney?
AMY LAUGHLIN I honestly don’t know the answer to that. At my firm, we charge a fee because we are committed to working with clients who value our time as much as we value their time. Some attorneys give free consultations, some don’t, but if you limit yourself to free consults, you’ll miss out on some great attorneys.
Should I consider Laughlin Legal when hiring a lawyer for a family law matter?
We hope you will! Laughlin Legal Divorce & Family Law Group is a collection of some of the most skilled divorce and family law attorneys and mediators in Silicon Valley. Laughlin Legal is trusted throughout California for their ability to skillfully help divorcing parties achieve a better outcome.
If you or someone you love is headed for a divorce or requires help with another family law issue, let’s talk. Call us now at 650.343.3486 to schedule a consultation with a Laughlin Legal divorce attorney. If you’d prefer, you can email us to set up your appointment. If we miss your call, we will respond promptly and call you back as soon as possible.
Laughlin Legal Family Law Group
You’ve never been better protected.