“These people are interested in more than your divorce, they care about life after it.”
WELL
BEING
A
LETTER
FROM
Amy Laughlin
Founder,
Laughlin Legal, PC
“We’re built for tribes and villages and neighborhoods and potluck dinners. We’re meant to feel it all and bear it all, together.”
| Laura Delano
Welcome to Well | Being, a space born from my deep respect for the emotional, physical, and often invisible burdens our clients carry through family legal matters.
The Landscape Has Changed
Over the past 10 years, I’ve witnessed in my practice a dramatic increase in the number of parents and children diagnosed with neurodevelopmental, psychiatric, and complex medical conditions. These diagnoses now seem to touch the lives of most families and have deeply reshaped the context in which family law operates.
Tragically, studies suggest the divorce rate for couples with neurodivergent or special needs children may be as high as 80-87%, which is significantly higher than the general population’s divorce rate of about 40-50%. This elevated risk is attributed to the unique stresses of navigating therapies, managing behaviors and emotional complexities, astronomical costs that are not covered by insurance, and the coping strategies families may or may not develop. Many of these parents are simply trying to care for someone they love, often with little scientific guidance and even less support. This reality has transformed how we practice family law, and it’s no longer enough to understand statutes and schedules—we must understand people, systems, and the hidden stressors that shape family dynamics.
This belief is foundational to the work we do at Laughlin Legal. And it’s why we created this page.
Autism: A Wake-Up Call
Few examples are more telling than the meteoric rise in autism diagnoses. In 1996, autism was estimated to affect just 3 in 1,000 children in the U.S. Today, that number has skyrocketed to roughly 1 in 19 in California in 2022* —an increase too dramatic to be explained by genetics or diagnostics alone. This fact impacts not only the medical profession, but reverberates through families, schools, relationships, and yes—custody disputes.
Mental Health and Custody: A Legal and Human Reality
The mental health crisis has likewise transformed the landscape of family law. In response to this growing societal challenge, California amended Family Code § 3040 (effective January 1, 2024) to require judges to consider a parent’s mental health history when it affects the child’s best interest. The law now also requires courts to state their reasons on the record and connect the parent with mental health resources.
This shift matters. It reflects a more humane, more evidence-based understanding of what families are really going through. Mental health challenges—when acknowledged and supported—do not disqualify a parent from raising their child. The courts are finally catching up to this reality, and we are proud to be part of that evolution.
A Personal Awakening
This isn’t just professional—it’s personal. Over the last decade, I’ve become passionate about understanding the deeper biological, nutritional, and environmental forces behind the health struggles we see in our clients and their families. I’ve taken multiple courses, in person and online, to study the root causes of mental illness. I’ve studied the links between insulin resistance and mood disorders, the role of ultra-processed foods and sugar in depression, and the profound effects of toxic load, nutrient depletion, and sleep disruption on human functioning. Most of our medical science was built around preventing death—not promoting life. But to truly support families, we need to understand what promotes resilience, not just survival.
What This Page Is For
This page is a living, growing resource—created for clients, colleagues, and community members alike. Here you’ll find:
- Thought-provoking articles and studies
- Book and podcast recommendations
- Practical wellness tools and insights
- Reflections from our team and community
Whether you’re going through a major family transition or you love someone who is, this space is for you. It’s a place to pause, reflect, and reclaim your capacity to cope, connect, and thrive.
So, make yourself a cup of coffee, turn down the noise in your head, and find a cozy spot to explore. If you don’t find what you need, check back soon—we’re always learning, and always adding more.
And if you have something you’d like to share, we’d love to hear it.
With gratitude and solidarity,
Amy Laughlin
Founder, Laughlin Legal, PC
OUR
RESOURCES
OUR BOOKSHELF
Books are among my most treasured possessions. They reward us for being curious. What are you feeling curious about today?
Whether you’re in search of information or inspiration, solace or satire, there’s something here for you.
Please do share your favorites with the rest of us!
OUR GROUNDBREAKING GUIDES
How often do we wonder how we can access and participate in healthy change? Allow us to introduce you to some of our favorite health champions – a list of individuals and organizations whose ongoing work is of inestimable value.
OUR CHILDREN
Divorce and other family disputes are hard on everyone. But the people who often bear the greatest burden of our actions and our decisions are the smallest among us. Here’s how we can support our children as they, too, go through an unusually difficult period.
OUR GIVING
An online visit to any of these extraordinary organizations is a reminder that there’s an army of people working toward meaningful change by filling in our society’s blanks.
With gratitude for choosing us, Laughlin Legal supports the nonprofits that matter to our clients. And we contribute a portion of our revenue each month to a charitable organization in honor of one of our clients. Allow us to introduce you to nonprofits we have contributed to in the past.
If you’d like to suggest we consider contributing to one of your favorite nonprofits, please share their name with us. We welcome an introduction!
OUR
STORIES
Storytelling is much more than just our oldest form of entertainment, it’s also how we heal, educate, and connect with one another. I’d like to share an abbreviated version of my own story of what led me here – to this work, to this website, to this page, to you. If you feel your story might help someone else through a difficult time, please share it here. No need to publish your full name like I did. First names or initials are enough.
“I understand family trauma. I have first hand experience. When I was 9, my mother left my father, taking my four siblings and me with her. We were scared and fled with the clothes on our backs. We hid out in a tiny abandon house with no plumbing or electricity. My mother was a strong woman. The only time I ever saw her cry was when one of us accidentally spilled a gallon of milk. It cost 25 cents back then. She had no idea how we’d replace it. Having no representation, my mother received a meager settlement. My life could not have prepared me better for this work.
Years later, I went to law school and learned how profoundly the legal system had failed my mother. She had no protection from domestic violence and no financial protection either. The divorce laws failed all six of us, and we all had our struggles as a result. So when I decided to become a family lawyer, I was determined to be one of the best divorce lawyers ever because I know better than most what’s at stake. To me, that meant protecting every client in two crucial ways that my mother and my siblings were vulnerable: by becoming more fluent and sophisticated in finance as the most experienced opposing counsel, and by giving clients my mobile number and taking their calls at all times in case there’s a family emergency. ”
“I knew what our challenges would be before we were married. I worried I wouldn’t be able to fix them, but I loved him and desperately wanted children. We were blessed with two and I poured myself into our children and our family and was happy beyond description. When the anticipated challenges surfaced and were not negotiable, I was indeed unable to fix them. So I sought out a therapist who could help me face my choice: either end the marriage right away or choose to preserve the children’s stability and stay together until they went to college.
I had firsthand knowledge of the unique pain of watching your parents try to destroy each other while divorcing, so I was leaning toward the second option. The therapist said, ‘Well, you could stay for 10 more years. You could do that. But you have to consider the sort of marriage you’re modeling for your children. You’re their role model, right? Would you want them to feign a marriage?’ With that, it was over. And it was absolutely the right decision. I often wonder how things would have turned out if I hadn’t had a wise and honest therapist with the courage and compassion to give me what I needed, what my family needed, to move forward.”
– MC
*Based on 2022 CDC data from the ADDM Network, California (specifically the San Diego tracking site) reported an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) prevalence of 1 in 19 (5.3%) among 8-year-old children.