If you have a difficult relationship with your ex-spouse, the idea of spending the next decade co-parenting with him or her may seem cruel. In this situation, it is natural for you to think about pursuing sole custody.
However, in the majority of cases trying to get sole custody is not a good idea. Trying to do so may result in you losing a lot of control over the terms of your divorce and it can potentially backfire.
Do not unnecessarily give up control
It is highly likely that if you try to get sole custody of your children that your spouse will take you to court. In many cases, a collaborative approach is the best option, even if the divorce is difficult; however, starting a feud over the children virtually guarantees this will not happen.
If your divorce goes to trial, this means that an impartial judge that knows nothing about your family will be the one in charge of making all of the final decisions. In most cases, the best course of action is to negotiate directly with your ex-spouse on terms, including child custody.
The risks of trying to go it alone
The reason joint custody is the most common arrangement is not to torture parents. Rather, the family court sees this as the most beneficial for the child. In the eyes of the court, trying to get sole custody of your children may seem like a self-beneficial ploy. It may imply to the judge that you are not willing to do what is in the child’s best interest.
When this judge makes final custody decisions, this negative impression of you may cause you grief. It is vital that you carefully consider all of the potential ramifications before trying to get sole custody.