Married couples who feel they may be on the brink of breaking up their relationship and going their separate ways in California could benefit from a tweak in their communication style. Old and unhealthy communication habits could pave the way to unhappiness and the perception that things are not working out. 

HuffPost provides communication tips couples can put to good use. A change of mindset could help set the needle back on the groove of a great marriage. 

Refrain from accusations  

During arguments, it is easy to place blame, but doing so only does more harm than good, even if the accusations have merit. Using “you” statements rather than “I” statements is a quick way to make spouses feel defensive, which only adds napalm to the fire. 

Leave personal issues outside the relationship 

Spouses have individual lives, aspirations and struggles outside their marriage. Couples should be sure that whatever strife they deal with at work and within their group of friends does not trickle over into their marriage. Taking out anxiety or frustration on a spouse sends mixed signals and often results in hurt feelings. 

Refrain from yelling  

After a while, couples know what makes each other upset, which can lead to unintended outbursts of anger, notes PsychCentral. When spouses push each other’s buttons and tensions run high, couples need to learn to take a step back and cool off before continuing the conversation. Doing so better ensures clear communication of words and intentions rather than filtering them through a confusing fog of rage. 

Move out of the spirit of competition 

Emotionally insecure spouses often want to be right in every aspect of the marriage, storing ammo to launch in future disagreements and conversations. Such a mindset only wears away at the foundation of the marriage. Being vulnerable and admitting mistakes and shortcomings builds a relationship and brings couples together.